Reply to If you never had/never wanted children by choice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do any of you worry about old age and being by yourself? Not saying that your kids will 100% be there for you but in the majority of instances your kids will help.

My dad has an aunt and uncle who never had any kids. He is now taking care of them since they are in their late 80s/early 90s and having health issues. Not sure what would have happened if he didn't step up.

My mom is one of 4 kids and they all helped with their aging parents.

We have family friends who never had kids and the wife sort of just went batty.  She never worked (even though she never had kids) and is just super odd like she lost direction in her life.  [/quote]

I don't worry about it per se but I do acknowledge that this is something I have to do my best to plan for. I also think  that I am open to assisted suicide at a certain point in life. I fully acknowledge that there is no way to know if I will feel that way later.  I often frame it as the 5 years at the end of my life are not any more important (or don't deserve more sacrifice/compromise?) than any other five in my life. This sounds more cut and dry on paper than how I think about it, but in short, if I don't want to raise a family for 25 years, I should not do so to attempt to insure some particular outcome for the last 5-10.

I have not chimed in upthread yet, but to answer some of the other questions, I think I saw how much work it was and how much of the mental and physical load (typically) falls to the mother and I did not want to engage in that. I remember the first time I said out loud that I did not want children, i was shocked by peoples shocked response (at about 20?). That said, it's a huge decision and I spent a lot of time thinking about it and making sure my husband understood the timeline related to women's fertility and we decided together not to have kids. I wanted the door firmly shut at 40 and I had to force that discussion. I did not want to have this happen passively and him have any regrets or resentment. [/quote]

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