Reply to If you never had/never wanted children by choice

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[quote=Anonymous]So I have kids but I was raised in a family where childfree by choice was openly discussed.  I have four aunts -- two have children, two do not (by choice).  The two who don't have kids are actually the two who are closest to my parents so we saw a lot of them growing up.  My mother rarely romanticized children -- she always claimed to not like any except the ones she related to.

I have two sisters.  One is married with children, one is married and childfree by choice, and I'm a single parent by choice.  I think having a family that affirmed many different ways to make a family and live a fulfilled adult life was good for us having the confidence to choose what we really wanted rather than just going along with cultural expectations.  Neither my childfree sister or I had really extensive experience with children growing up -- we both babysat but usually elementary school kids and not often.  I think our opinions of what we wanted out of life were formed less by direct experience and more an innate sense of what we wanted from our futures; what we saw our friends achieving that made us wistful.

I will also note I have many childfree friends, and most of them did NOT come from my type of family -- a lot of their confidence is hardwon against family pressure to procreate.  I'm always very impressed that they were able to realize what was right for them and fight for it.  I also have some friends who may decide in future to have kids (one just got engaged and has shifted from NO CHILDREN EVER of two years ago to well maybe someday we'll see); some people especially women see the challenge raising children and don't feel ready in their 20s but may decide to go for it in their 30s if they have a supportive partner.[/quote]

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