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[quote=Anonymous]I'll get the hardest part out of the way first: my dad molested me when I was a kid.
And here's the second hardest part: I think my marriage is falling apart.
This is the final part: I have a growth in my small intestine that needs to be biopsied.

I'm in therapy and finally dealing with the horrors of what my Dad did to me. None of my siblings or in-laws know. They all LOVED my Dad. EVERYONE loved my Dad (I've since come to learn that the most sadistic people can appear as charming and delightful to others).

Unrelated, my husband is pulling away from me more and more. He's cheated on me in the past and I suspect he is now, too. I realize that he has a lot in common with my Dad - he's very charming but he can seem like he a cold, unfeeling core. I'm his second wife and I'm starting to get the sense that he doesn't love me and only married me to be a step-mom to his kids (who are now grown and doing well, thank goodness!).

My family leans on me for a lot. In fact, several of my siblings are dealing with the sadness and depression that came with our Dad's death. I'm the "reliable" one in my family, the one who gets things done, bails people out of financial binds, etc. I'm trying to tie up some loose ends with my Dad's estate and taxes and a. I don't want to do it and b. I need two of my siblings in particular to get documents and bank statements to me in time for us to get his final tax return filed, and they keep dropping the ball. I only have a few more days to get everything to my Dad's CPA and I don't have the time or energy to do it, even if I did have the paperwork that my siblings owe me.

I want to QUIT. I'm tired of keeping all this inside. I'm afraid if I tell anyone about my Dad either they're not going to believe me or they're going to go into an even deeper depression than some of them already are. And I can't tell anyone about my marriage because if we do manage to work things out I don't want any of my family to hold resentment towards my husband.

I'm in therapy, but it is only 1 hour a week and I feel like I need to talk about this way more often than that. I don't have any friends who are close enough to talk about this with for basically the same reasons - I don't want them to form a bad opinion of my husband and I don't want to share any of what my Dad did in case people I do tell can't keep it a secret.

I'm not suicidal but right now I feel like not being alive anymore would be preferable to the way I feel right now.

I'm not sure if any of you can offer advice, or if any of you had similar experiences - did you eventually tell your family about it? Thanks. Honestly it helps just typing this out and knowing that at least I got some of it off my chest tonight.[/quote]

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