Reply to How to embrace a loss of a loved parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think "embrace" is not the ideal word but I can't think of one that might explain better.

This may not help you at all, but I find it helpful to look to for signs that my dad is with me in spirit. I read white butterflies can be a sign and I am constantly having white butterflies come right up me, circle me and even occasionally land on me. It makes me smile. Now before you people who haven't lost a loved one tell me they are moths and they do this to everyone-just let a gal have her delusions because they bring me comfort and they aren't harming anyone ;).

Also sometimes I will get a piece of unexpected good news and then a random photo of dad is there. Sometimes it's one I recall placing on a shelf in a frame and I happen to glance there without doing it on purpose, but other times I don't even know how it got there and it's unframed and just sitting there.

My kids will often talk about an accomplishment in school or sports and will automatically say that grandpa must be so proud.

It helps that my dad had a horrible decline and at the end he could not walk, talk, feed himself, etc and he was in diapers. He wanted to pass and we knew he no longer suffered. My memories and possible delusions are all of him before all that and so i get the best of both worlds. I no longer see him suffer and we get him back in his best state.[/quote]

Relate a lot to this post. I saw hummingbirds in the unlikeliest of places and friends would also tell me on the phone that they were either seeing them while talking to me or had seen one right beforehand.

I have never used the word “embrace” in this context, but years later I can see how my father’s  death led me to make certain big changes in my life that were very beneficial and in a lot of ways I became the person he saw in me but that I never recognized in myself. I also learned the very hard lesson of how to love myself unconditionally without dad around to do that. That is nothing short of a miracle. I hope everyone can find the strange gifts that life’s fiercest challenges can bring. [/quote]

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