Reply to A friend regrets adopting her daughter

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[quote=Anonymous]"if the daughter is treated as an outsider"

Agree with PP's suggestion to support your friend - if what you're seeing is really just about a struggling parent dealing with a troubled child.

If she's singling her daughter out and treating her as less than her siblings, then please consider doing something about it. You could talk to a therapist about what you've seen, and they could tell you if what you've seen is abuse, and what to do about it. Or you could try talking to your friend - using neutral language and tone to describe actions/reactions you've seen. No conclusions, just keep the focus on observations.

As I'm sure you know, a lot of adopted children come with serious emotional issues. From the outside looking in, it looks like the parent is being abusive when they're just trying to help the child. I hope that's what you're seeing, OP, but your "outsider" comment makes me concerned. I'm from a family where one child really was an abused scapegoat. Very bad dynamic for everyone - scapegoat and siblings. Horrible, actually. The scapegoat got through the experience okay, but the siblings have been pretty badly psychologially damaged.[/quote]

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