Reply to Help me not be an a@&hole to grieving MIL

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[quote=Anonymous]DH’s stepfather recently died after a long illness. My ILs have never had much money, and over the years, we’ve helped them out in small amounts, never expecting to be paid back. Unsurprisingly, we were asked to help pay for FIL’s funeral arrangements. We offered to transfer the money to MIL’s account through Zelle, and she refused, fearing “online hackers” and asked DH to overnight a check instead. To overnight a check was ridiculously expensive. DH was annoyed, but he has no backbone when it comes to his mother. I was also annoyed, but said nothing further to DH as I know he’s experiencing his own grief. It was just so stupid and wasteful. I also suspect (fear) that this is the beginning of us having to subsidize MIL’s life with FIL now gone, and given DH’s tendency to do anything MIL wants, we will face similar issues in the future.

MIL has always been extremely controlling and stuck in antiquated ways of doing things. I’m focused on being supportive to the family, and will never bring up this incident, but need to move on from it. Help me see things differently. 
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