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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I relate to so much of what you wrote. I wish we could meet for coffee. We have such similar mothers. I don't have time to write more now other than to say I completely get it. Therapy has helped. Detatching has helped. Things got worse after dad passed and I was her verbal punching bag often. I kept stepping backward...only meet in public, stopped calling, would only text because she was hostile by phone, always have witnesses, etc. Eventually it got really bad and I drew major lines in the sand because i have my own health scare and family stress with teens at home, etc and my FIL is very ill. We are "low contact" now and keep things very superficial. [/quote]

+1 Same here, can relate. I've had to reduce contact and avoid phone calls because one day I realized that whenever I walked away from a phone call with my mother I did not feel well--- I felt more depressed, stressed out, angry, etc. I often realize that the conversation wasn't any sort boon or value-add to my life. It just make me feel bad.

My family has a history of stressful, narcissistic parents who demand a lot from their adult children-- call me, pay attention to me, listen to me, call me, call me, call me-- and the adult children end up wasting valuable time wrapped up in unpleasant conversations-- best case, gossip, worst case badgering about why you don't make them happy. And you end up talking about them in therapy. If someone you have to interact with often puts you in therapy-- or you have to take anti-anxiety meds to deal with them-- it's time to reduce or eliminate contact. Too much maintenance for one relationship. So, yeah, I decided to jump off the crazy train. OP, get off the crazy train. [/quote]

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