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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your AC child express appreciation for your parenting? I don't expect constant praise of course. It was a labor of love, but I guess I hoped that by her age (recent college grad) she would start to appreciate the family she has. The sacrifices that have been made. The quality of life we have given her. She just seems to take it all for granted, which is a little disappointing. [/quote]

Is it, though?   I see it as a mark of success that my kids believe that every family is normal, emotionally calm and loving.  Why would I want them to know the hell I went through to give it to them?  The whole point was to shield them from that hard stuff.   (And if you did shield them from it, it isn’t their fault that they didn’t know about it.)[/quote]

Interesting perspective. I just think that people walk around the world happier [b]if they feel grateful for their good fortune[/b]. [/quote]

Honestly that sounds dysfunctional and what an emotionally abusive person would say. It's one thing for people to be happy and enjoy their childhoods, it's another for a parent to tell them to be grateful.[/quote]

I think that, generally, people who recognize their good fortune (which includes a hefty dose of luck) and are grateful are happier, but I don't think that it's great for parents to expect their kids to be grateful for their parenting.  As we get older, we naturally do develop an understanding of what parenting involves, and we figure out how our parents sacrificed for us, we compare our childhoods to others and see the ways in which we were fortunate.  But that's not really a perspective that a young adult has yet.  And, frankly, kids SHOULD be able to take for granted that their parents love them unconditionally and will do their best to provide them with the things they need.  [/quote]

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