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[quote=Anonymous]I'm one of the older ladies on this thread.  One of the things that it took me a long time to learn is just how deep our childhood conditioning is.  From the time we're little babies, we're conditioned to love those who are around us frequently.  It's not really a choice, it's how we're shaped.  It's completely understandable/normal to work to please the ones you love.  Intellectually, you may know these people aren't deserving of our love but, if nothing else, you love the [i]idea[/i] of them.  Based on the guilt, you seem to be doing it.  You want to be a loving aunt to the DC of the brother that abused you.  You still have a relationship with the mother who failed you then and fails you now. There's nothing wrong with you.  Even if you can overcome your childhood conditioning, you can still feel bad even though you shouldn't.  You're a loving person.

So, in short, I echo the PPs that said your brother's children will not miss you.  Focus your energies on positive relationships that feed your soul, not those who step on it.  Hugs. [/quote]

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