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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Okay so now my husband's sister just had a son. We have seen this baby a few times and are planning holidays with them this year. My mom commented [b]how unfair it is that I will be aunt to this baby but not her grandkids.[/b] And I'm terrible for taking this out on children. I agree to an extent but there is literally no way of achieving this. I can't have a relationship with them without my brother and I can't wait until they are grown and tell them why. Too much time has already passed.

[/quote]

"Yes, Mom, it is unfair that you abused me and my brother molested me, and that you want to pretend it never happened.  That is unfair.  But it was his choice and your choice to do that.  And it's my choice not to spend time with either of you as a result."[/quote]

4:44 here. THIS IS EXACTLY CORRECT. I am in my 60s and it took me 60 years to realize that I needed to get my family of origin out of my life and out of my head. So please take some advice from an old lady and cut your losses and save your health and your sanity. You need to make a clean cut from these people. You cannot have a partial relationship because they will continue to victimize you. [/quote]

Yes!  This is exactly the correct response!  I, too, am an older lady and wish I knew then what I know now.  Life is too short trying to make unworkable relationships work.  Family is a choice, not genetics. [/quote]

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