Reply to DS doesn't want to return to college in a few weeks. What can we do??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really think you need to let your adult son make his own life choices. I think you should try to relax, maybe get some therapy for a place to vent and get perspective. If he takes one year off, staying rent free should be okay, but maybe set some limits like you will pay for his schooling if he returns in a year, but if he stays out longer he needs to pay rent or move out and needs to contribute a certain portion of his $$ to his future schooling.

I also think it is fine if your younger son wants to work in a restaurant for awhile.

The tone of your post sounded very controlling. If your DH thinks you are out of line, and you think you are the only sane one, you have a marriage problem too.

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+1 Older DS did not say he's quitting college, just that he wants to take a break.  He was motivated enough to figure that out, and determine he can take a 1 year break and be allowed back to the university.   Actually quite smart that he recognizes this and has a plan to explore and more importantly keep working.  Fairly certain that anyone who has done a year of college will NOT end up thinking that working in a restaurant as waitstaff will be their dream job for the long haul---it's a lot of hard work and he will continue to see that.

I for one would be proud that he realized he wants/needs a break, negotiated the year off without any impacts, and is dedicated to working long hours.  That' what a gap year should be.

For the younger DS, I'd also be thrilled he wants to work hard and earn money.

If you dont' get on board with not controlling your kids and start allowing them to figure out their paths themselves, they might just stop talking to you and do it anyways.  What we want for our kids is often different than what they want, and parents need to learn to stop forcing it.  Forcing a kid to go to college when they don't want to is a terrible idea, will not end well and could ruin your relationship with your kid forever
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