Reply to Anyone here have 4 kids and both parents work outside the home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not me. But I want to throw something out there: it's always assumed in these kinds of threads that X family situation (particularly a lot of kids) is "too hard" or "too complicated" for both parents to be working.

Am I the only one for whom working is easier? My nanny's job is definitely harder than mine!

I work full time, so does my husband. We both have a lot of flexibility. I ostensibly work 40 hours a week, 9-5. But honestly, with breaks, and doing some personal tasks (laundry, phone calls, emails) I probably only put in about six hours a day (which I know research has show is about the high water mark for thought/strategic desk work, so I don't think I'm THAT far out of the mainstream). One of us works from home each day, the other is in the office (we alternate). I don't make a ton, but more than enough to cover the nanny. I have a baby and a toddler, and we'll probably have a third down the line. The nanny keeps the house straightened up.

If I were watching the kids all day, I'd be exhausted at days end, and with no folded laundry to show for it.

I know I'm lucky that my job isn't that stressful and we can afford a nanny. But I don't think this is a total unicorn situation. Am I missing something here?[/quote]

DH and I both WFH most of the time and have flexible jobs.  We also have three kids.  We debated a fourth but stopped at three mostly because of the reason the OP is asking: I thought it would be too hard to have four kids with two parents who work FT.

What you’re missing is that with each additional kid, the uncertainty increases.  On a micro level: random sicknesses, injuries, bad days, crappy sleepers, etc.  On a macro level: special needs, significant medical issues, normal needs of any individual child for attention and nurturing.  Also, while the toddler and baby years are physically exhausting, as they get older, the logistics become more challenging.  Each kid makes the logistics substantially harder.  When our kids were little we were wiped out, absolutely, but we also had fantastic day care coverage, most days, from 7:30 - 6:30pm if we needed it (we rarely needed it).

What you’re also missing is that if you’re a SAHP to four kids, yes, you’re probably exhausted by day’s end, but you likely also have the bandwidth to cover the random sick days, school projects, etc., in a way that most working parents, even with lots of flexibility, don’t have.  So, yeah.  [/quote]

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