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[quote=Anonymous]I just work to build confidence. She took to an activity quickly when she was 4, so we've kept up lessons in that so she has something she feels good and confident about. We also praise a lot and not just accomplishments. I do a lot of stuff like "I noticed that you helped that girl at the pool with her floatie -- that was very thoughtful for you to notice she needed help." Stuff to help pump her up about herself and let her know what her best qualities are and that they are valued. She's still shy (again, especially around adults) but seems less uncomfortable in her shyness than she used to be. I don't think she's ever going to be the kid who dives right into playing with new kids on the playground, but she's no longer the kid who asks to leave or sits on a bench with me while other kids play. She can introduce herself and will find one or two more approachable kids to play with, or will play on her own until someone joins her.

Also, she is on the younger side for her grade cohort and I think that has contributed to shyness -- she has often had to enter into a class with a group of kids who are mostly older and bigger, and that's intimidating. One thing we've done that helps her confidence is give her opportunities to be the bigger, older kid. She has several friends who are a bit younger than her and we will sometimes enroll her in a sport or activity with an age range she's at the top of (assuming it's not a situation where she'll be bored or way ahead of everyone else) so she can feel like the bigger, more experienced and capable kid sometimes. It really helps and she flourishes in that environment. She really likes being able to teach something she knows how to do to a younger kid, we've noticed.

If other people have advice that will help with the shyness around adults, I'm all ears! She is even shy around teachers even after months of being in their classrooms. We have a few family friends she's known for years that she's not super shy around (still a little but she will talk and interact with them) but we've had to build that up over her whole life. It takes her a really long time to warm up to new adults, even when they are vetted and trusted and comfortable around kids.[/quote]

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