Reply to Routine vs. Go With The Flow

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am routine, H is go with the flow.

My experience: I am stressed AF all of the time, while H is cool as a cucumber because he knows I’ll handle it. I also spend a lot of time yelling at him for sleeping in and forgetting to do things. [/quote]

Alternately, you are stressed AF all the time and DH is cool as a cucumber because he knows much of what you are agonizing about can’t be changed fixed with extra anxiety.[/quote]

I guess it depends what OP means by GWTF. From my understanding, it’s just sort of letting things happen and not attempting to gain any sort of control over the situation.

An example in our home is parenting - H’s mindset is that kids are gonna go whatever they want to do, so there’s no sense in trying to instill good habits in them. Whereas I have routines for the kids for cleaning up, getting ready for school, meals, play dates, limiting screen time, etc. So like, I limit screen time for DC, but provide loosely structured alternatives such as art projects, playtime outside, etc. H just hands the screen over for hours on end, day after day, and when DC’s behavior gets out of control (nonstop tantrums when screen time is over or we say no), H just sort of shrugs his shoulders and says “I don’t understand why DC is like this!” Then I have to come in and reset the routine.

I know general consensus among men is that those things don’t matter. Let your kid watch screens all day. But it matters to me, because I do believe we have a responsibility to raise well-regulated and stable children. And I don’t like having to fix things when H drops the ball, it’s stressful. [/quote]

You both are in the wrong here..  obviously just handing them screens is an issue but your kids not being able to function without every moment being planned out isn't good for them either.[/quote]

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