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[quote=Anonymous]I’m very into structure and routine and my husband is go with the flow, and we’re a success story for sure.

Basically - we’ve met in the middle, though closer to structure with regards to the kids, since we have 2 under 3 (recently graduated from 2 under 2). He’s was willing to defer to me on routine with our first when he was a baby, and pretty much immediately saw how much the baby thrived under a routine and it made everything easier. So he’s really gotten on board with that for practical reasons. Meanwhile, with two so little, I’ve had to learn to be more adaptable, and I definitely have. We’ve also prioritized - the kids routine is key. Routines that help us share the load are key - he does cooking, I do laundry, or how we handle childcare on the weekends. But then he doesn’t meal plan, he buys a bunch of groceries and wings it - great. Not how I would do it, but it works out awesome. And laundry/clothes are handled on a German-public-transit-like schedule, since he’s totally out of that. It works for us.

I think what helps is that we’re both open minded, we have great communication, and we’re willing to defer to the other person where appropriate. We also respect each other’s perspectives and approaches.

One thing that’s funny - as we’ve moved towards the middle, it means we’ve both moved further from our families of origin, and it’s become obvious on family vacations. His family is so go with the flow it drives me crazy. I need SOME planning! And now my family’s vacations feel overplanned to both of us. Ha. [/quote]

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