Reply to $80k In Debt Worth It for Ivy Undergrad?

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[quote=Anonymous]Oh OP, my heart breaks for you. I was you 15 years ago. Very prestigious school but miserable, felt like I was disappointing my parents, etc etc. Ended up switching schools and changing majors. Had the most awful summer internship but made a ton of money so I thought that justified it, tried to make it work as full time post graduation and just hated life. I lasted 3 years before going back to grad school to do something I actually like.

Take a step back for a minute and analyze your major in a bubble. If your parents didn’t exist, would you enjoy it? If your only worry was whether you were proud of yourself, not society or family or stem loving people were impressed, would you stay? Humanities majors can and do contribute great things to the world! STEM isn’t everything.

I wish more than anything someone had told me how hard 20-25 can be. It’s a tumultuous time with so much pressure to know who you are and what you want when the reality is most of us don’t/didn’t have a clue.

If it were me, I’d probably finish the degree (if you think you can mentally handle it.) You can chase money and pay it off, or look into public service and get loans forgiven after a period of time. If you aren’t in a place to survive the last year, see if you can put the degree on hold for a year and work as much as you can to put a dent in that future tuition bill. A $40k loan is much easier to stomach than an $80k one.

But in the meantime, whatever you decide, please find a quality therapist. I wish I had started seeing one earlier. While she can’t change my financial standing, she absolutely helped me to see my worth separate from the way I felt my parents viewed me and helped me get treatment for the depression and anxiety that had become part of daily life for me.

FWIW, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually you WILL figure this out, whether it’s a week or a year or a decade in the future. I’m now 36 and wish I could hug 21 year old me and tell her it’s going to be okay—that you will find your people and your place (as a career and beyond) and the things that bring you contentment and joy.

Please hang in there. I promise, it will get better.[/quote]

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