Reply to Kid birthday plans issue

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Go with what your child wants. And why the heck would he want to spend the night with a bf's kids?? Your celebration of his birthday doesn't have to happen just on his birthday.[/quote]

THere is no spending the night with bf kids. I would pick up my kids from exh house and then bring them back in a few hours.

So I should ask ds if he wants to do dinner with bf and me or dinner with his dad? Seems unfair to him to ask him that. KWIM? [/quote]

Ok, there are more than two options in the world!  Ask him if he wants a special dinner or activity just with his mom and his brothers.  Ask him whatever.  But stop actling like the only birthday you could possibly plan is spending time with your BF and BF's kids.  Because I guarantee your child does not care about them the way you do.  Stop making this about *you* and what *you* want, and think about your son and what he wants, since it's his birthday after all.  It's supposed to be a time to spend time with and celebrate your child, it's not a time to try to further your goal of a family-like relationship with these other people.  Focus on your SON, not your self.[/quote]

I get that. But I truly think what we have planned will be fun. I already ran it by him and he was like ok cool. This was before I mentioned it to exh not thinking it would be a big deal since ds wasn't going to be with exh that night anyway.

I will ask him if he wants to go with just him and his brothers or if he wants to include bf and kids too. [/quote]

Real talk: What kind of relationship is this if they only see each other a few times a year?  What's the point of putting your sons into this situation?  Are you planning to get married to this guy?  Why do you care if your son spends time with these children?

Is it in your children's best interest to press this issue with your ex and make things awkward, or is it more about your best interest?  Yes, it's your time apparently, and yes you've accepted a new partner on his end, but still, if it makes life complicated your children will notice and they won't be happy about it.[/quote]

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