Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think age 25 or so is good, but again, ask yourself for whose benefit are you keeping the secret.  Adult convenience and avoiding difficult conversations is not a good enough reason, nor is manipulating the child into accepting a person they would otherwise choose not to accept.  It's unfair, and personally I'd rather have just one parent be a liar rather than both of them.[/quote]

As a mother, I do believe that such lies to children can actually take quality childhood from them. My friend's husband cheated and later moved in with AP, and had a baby. Because my friend never told her 10 yo daughter that the AP was a reason for divorce, daughter continued spending time with the new dad's family and half brother. They made a baby sitter out of his older daughter, made her change the baby, feed the baby, walk the baby while they watched TV and drank beer. Later on dad kicked out the new AP/wife from his house, and kept the baby. This showed very poor familial relationships example to my friend's now teenage daughter. She has very poor grades, was engaged in a criminal story etc. 
My friend is very regretful that she basically was forcing her daughter to maintain a good relationship with trashy dad. [/quote]

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