Reply to 24 year old DD angry at her dad post-divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]My ex and I had an amicable, conflict-free divorce soon after our DD graduated from college. We're both much happier now. I asked for the divorce because our interests had diverged and I mostly wasn't interested in negotiating the rest of my life. I wanted more freedom and autonomy than I had while raising DD. Despite our reasons for splitting, I think we maintained a mostly healthy, happy home for our DD together.  He was always an active, involved, responsible parent. My ex did not want to tell DD that I asked for the divorce because he said it was a joint decision.  A couple months ago, when he announced he had a serious new partner, DD went ballistic at him. She blames him for all the unhappiness in the marriage in ways that I don't share and credits him with none of our good times. Our formerly happy and well-adjusted child now describes our home life as unrecognizably awful. DD and I still talk every few days but she has pretty much cut off communications with my ex. He writes her every week not expecting any response. I know it is making him miserable and he is desperate to reconnect with her.  He reaches out to me when he really wants to know what's going on with DD. He tells me that he doesn't think there is anything he can do except wait and stay constant in his desire to connect and build an adult relationship. I sympathize for him and I want my DD to have a loving relationship with her father. Part of me wants to tell DD that it was my decision to divorce and to stop blaming her father. But mostly I think that my DD and ex need to figure it out themselves to move forward. Is there anything I can or should think about doing to facilitate their reconciliation? It's not my role as a parent of an adult child or as an ex-spouse, right? [/quote]

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