Reply to If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?

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Reply to "If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because the why someone has annoying or bad behaviors shouldn't be an excuse that others have to put up with it.    Generally others don't care about their neighbors, coworkers, kid's parents, or cousin's wife background unless they allow it to negatively affect those around them.  The fact that a man molested as a child molests my child wouldn't make it "better" for my child.  It is one thing to understand why someone acts they way they do, but understand doesn't mean I to accept it or allow it to negatively impact my life.[/quote]

OP here. I have no problem with this outlook and it's also my own. I don't think you need to spend a lot of time empathizing with people who harm you, and this sounds like healthy boundaries.

I'm talking about people who express angry and intolerant attitudes towards people from dysfunction. Choosing not to have someone in your life because they are dysfunctional is totally reasonable. Getting mad at that person for the dysfunction that they don't have a ton of control over, and especially taking it out on them, is not. It generally just makes the problem worse because dysfunctional people often have extremely low self worth and their behavior will get worse if they feel they are irredeemable. Which is one of many reasons I approach people with kindness and the assumption that everyone has value -- I find it generally brings out the best in people, even if I also sometimes have to limit my interaction with someone because they don't have the relationship skills to be part of my circle.[/quote]

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