Reply to Choosing to stay home or to work when kids are babies/toddlers

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m not sure if this is the right subforum to post this concern, but just wanted to put this out there as I am having some trouble thinking through this.

I’m remarried, have two bio kids, and have discussed having a baby with my new husband.  He makes a lot more money than I do and could easily support us without my additional income.  Backstory:  I left the father of my two kids when they were a toddler and baby, and was immediately thrust into poverty and arranging childcare while working full-time and having nothing left over every month.  This was traumatizing.  I went to graduate school and have been able to secure a position that pays well and for which there is high demand.  I am grateful and proud of myself for having gotten this far.

Bringing it back to the present day, I always said I would never be financially dependent on a man again.  However, my company offers zero paid parental leave, so I would take the 12 weeks FMLA unpaid.  The notion of securing full-time childcare and working all day during those early months seems very daunting.  I went through the rigmarole of drop offs/pick ups/sick days/holidays/school and daycare closures while working and it was miserable!  Granted I am in a different position now, but I just recall the stress and the misery of trying to keep it together, being exhausted, and feeling like I never had enough time.

I guess what I’m looking to see is perspectives from both parents who’ve continued to work after the birth of a baby and those who left the workforce for the early years.  I’m worried about re-entering the workforce after a couple of years out - even with an advanced degree and technical experience, will I be able to re-enter?  I have worries about outcomes from both potential scenarios but would really like to hear your individual experience and what you did to make it work for you (WOH/WAH/SAH).

Sorry for the rambling but hope to get some insight, thanks.[/quote]

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