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[quote=Anonymous]MIL and FIL live in a small town an hour and a half away from Tuscon.  MIL was recently diagnosed with stage 3 endometrial cancer. She had a total hysterectomy and is now going through chemo. FIL is 83 and MIL is 73. FIL is still recovering from a large wound in his leg ( it got infected in January then he ended up in the hospital with sepsis). He just had his wound vac removed about a month or two ago. MIL takes care of FIL but FIL can still drive.

The in-laws are very resistant to getting medical treatment in their hometown, preferring to travel to Tuscon. They say they don’t like the doctors in their town because many of them are DOs and not MDs.

I’m very worried about all of this driving FIL has to do and their health generally speaking. They’re very independent but both are in terrible shape (overweight, smoke, drink, don’t eat healthy). DH is an only child and we have very young kids and live in the Midwest. If something were to happen, it takes  a full day of travel (multiple flights plus driving) to get out there.  They have no support system where they are - no friends, no socialization at all. We’ve floated the idea of having them move out to the midwest which is where we currently live but FIL has said he’d never leave Arizona.

As far as finances, DH is largely in the dark. We know they have a pension but they still have a mortgage (they refinanced many times over the years). I don’t believe there is any savings. DH has POA if something were to happen.

My question is what happens if later down the road they can’t travel the hour and a half for medical care? Does Medicare cover any driving? If something happens to my MIL, what do we do with my FIL? I always read about having these conversations ahead of time - before a crisis happens. I’m trying to push DH to have these conversations with his parents but he seems reluctant to do so. I’m not sure they’d be even be open to having these conversations with him.

Do we just have to wait until a crisis happens? 
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