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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you just accept that you did a terrible job?    What if you did everything in your power to raise a decent human being and they get turned around by others...that's still my fault right?  Because he should be strong enough to resist that.   What if he's 21 and acting like a total jerk, and you are angry at him but still love him so much?    What if he isn't being very nice to his younger brother that always was his best friend until he met these other people and now he treats him like less than nothing?

Do I tell him to leave?   I told him he needs therapy and he agreed to go, but he hasn't yet.   He has some serious issues to work out, but in the moment of our discussions, he denies everything.    I know that comes from a place of defensiveness and I am sure that he needs a therapist to untangle all this crap, but in the meantime, what can I do, nothing?

I wish I could reach him, and know I have no say anymore in who he is, but he is NOT the child I raised him to be, and I'm hurt, confused, angry, and missing my sweet loving son.

I know people will say to just kick him out, and get over it, but that is very hard to do and very painful.   It feels like giving up on my son, and feels like I will never see him again.

I feel like I did it all for nothing.   I taught him such incredible values, reflected in my other 3 kids by the way, and don't know what happened.

FYI:  It's not drugs or alcohol.  [/quote]

The possible good news is this is a recent development, in conjunction with a new bad friend group, AND he has agreed to do therapy.

You need to call and make those appts yourself for him; get on waitlists, look across state borders for zoom ones, and see who can get the first appointments in.

Good luck. I hope this is just a short phase or transition. [/quote]

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