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[quote=Anonymous]From what I've observed, it's part of mental illness, OP. There comes a point when the sweetest person, having dealt with various psychiatric disorders for years, just develops anger and denial as a shield because they cannot continue to accept blame for what they have trouble controlling about themselves. It's too much, and so they start pretending they didn't do whatever it was, they rewrite history, they deflect, gaslight and blame others.

This is what my husband with ADHD/HFA does. When things are going well, and he's only a little late for everything, he's a perfectly calm and reasonable person. But when he has a run of missed deadlines or missed payments or other large errors due to his ADHD or a social communication mishap, he will ALWAYS blame someone else, because for 50 years he's had to deal with this and even though he must know on some level that it's his responsibility, he can't handle always having to admit that he's at fault.

My teen son has severe ADHD and mild HFA, and he's not there yet. He's still so patient and sweet, and can be made to understand where he messed up and how things could have gone better. I strive to develop as much self-awareness and instill as much self-honesty as possible, because I would hate for him to become like his father. I often tell him that the worse thing he can possibly do is lie to himself.

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