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[quote=Anonymous]Yes.

People judge moms all the time. My mom and my sister openly judge my mothering. I am certain some of my friends do to -- sometimes I hear them harshly judging other moms and think "oh, that could be me." And when I'm not around, it probably is. And of course there is also just a lot of ambient cultural judgment of mothers. I mean, read the threads on hear about working moms or SAHMs (who both come in for a TON of judgment -- you can't win). Moms get judged for doing too much (you're overprotective, your kid won't learn to do things on their own, you are solving their problems for them) and for not doing enough (don't you love your kid, why wouldn't you support them better).

Meanwhile, dads are congratulated for doing, truly, anything at all. There's a double standard.

But the reason I "feel" this judgment is specific to me. I have mental health stuff stemming from early childhood that makes me susceptible to criticism and can make it difficult for me to have self-compassion. And that makes me "feel judged." That's separate from whether or not people judge -- of course they do. I feel judged because I was raised to feel and respond to other people's judgment. It's just a specific issue that I have to contend with, and I do, through therapy and other things.

So if you don't feel judged as a mom, it's not because people aren't judging you. It's because you are fortunate to have a sense of self worth that allows you to feel comfortable even if people judge you. That's nice! Enjoy it. But don't turn around and judge moms who already feel judged, for feeling judged. You just don't understand what's going on with them. Move along.[/quote]

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