Reply to Caring for Dying Parent - How Much is Too Much?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Caring for Dying Parent - How Much is Too Much?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My dad has been battling cancer for about a year now.  He lives 10 hours away.  Over the past  year I've had to drop everything and drive up to care for him or deal with medical issues and doctors several time.  Usually I stay for a week or so and then come home, because I have a child and I am a small business owner.  Every time I go there, I lose thousands in business and pay thousands more in hotel fees.  I offered for my dad to come live with me here, or someplace nearby, but he refused.  He has other children and a second (separated) wife where he is now, and doesn't want to leave them.

We are getting towards the end (I think - doctors can't really say), and the trips have become more frequent.  My stepmother (who is currently divorcing him) doesn't want to be involved very much in his care, and is angry with me for not doing more.  His other children are teenagers and don't seem able to do much.  I have a brother who is also far away but who shares the burden with me, but he also has a full-time job and family.

Here's the question - my stepmother and husband both think I should leave my family here and just go live near my dad in a hotel for some undetermined amount of time, abandon my business (it would mean reneging on legal contracts to do work for people who are counting on me and could cause me to go completely out of business), and just take care of him from now until whenever.  I want to help my dad, but I don't want to leave my family and give up my business and I honestly don't know how I could afford to do that, no matter what my husband says.  I am upset that they think I should do this at all.  Thoughts?  I feel selfish and lazy for not dropping everything and going there long-term, and for sticking around the past two days (dad needs help again) because I had work to finish on a client contract (the client would have been massively screwed over if I'd left before tomorrow.

So I feel guilty and awful.  Am I being a bad daughter?  Would you drop everything and go?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics