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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ask your mom to cook dinner. I was in a very similar situation except it lasted 10 months and in the end, I blew up at her and now we are not on speaking terms. I regret that but still get so pissed off when I remember how much harder that time was because family came to "help"[/quote]

Oh gosh, 10 months, I’m so sorry! You have the patience of an angel if it took you that long to blow up. Fortunately she’s only here one month but it still feels looong! I asked her yesterday to make lunch for my husband as I had to go outside for a work meeting and she said she didn’t know what to make.. when I asked her to make dinner, she said she could do the fish but could someone else do the side dishes?! I just asked if she could join the nanny for pickup tomorrow so she got to know her way around and she said she’ll see, it may be too hot for her…  I’ll keep trying but wow I’m amazed at the passiveness.

To those saying to ask her what she had in mind when she came to help, it makes a lot of sense but knowing her she’d be very offended and go into martyr mode and I don’t think I can handle that on top of everything else![/quote]

OP—you’re going to have to take a lot of deep breaths and put your resentment aside.

You: I need you to make lunch for Bob. 
Mom: I don’t know what to make. 
You: I’m confident you will figure it out. I’m getting on my call now. Bob is waiting upstairs. (Then walk away)

You: A big help would be for you to make dinner. 
Mom: I can make the fish. Can someone make the sides?
You: Actually no. I’m sure you will figure out the sides and they’ll be delicious. I’ve got to go take care of Bob. Call me when dinner is ready. (Then walk away.)

Give the direction. 
Tell her you have confidence in her. 
Walk away and be unavailable. [/quote]

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