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[quote=Anonymous]This isn't really a private school question, but I think that private school culture plays a role.

We are a middle class family whose kids attend a very expensive school with a lot of financial aid.  My kids are well cared for, and have everything they need, but there are definitely a lot of kids in their class with much bigger houses, pricier EC's, etc . . .

One of my kids has a good friend whose family has a lot of money.  A few months ago, that kid invited my kid to do an activity.  I looked up how much it cost, and sent that much money plus some extra, but wasn't really surprised that the money came back and kid reported that the parents had turned down his offer to pay for himself.  Later, I found out that the parent had paid for a semi-private instructor for just the two kids, making the activity pretty expensive.

Since then, the kids have gotten together regularly.  When they're at my house it's usually something free like play basketball in the driveway, and then eat some spaghetti and brownies I made at home. They've also ridden bikes to get ice cream and to our local pool, and we've paid for that, but I don't think I've ever spent more than $10 at a time.  When the other family takes a turn, they always do the expensive activity, and the other parents pay, usually they go out to eat at a restaurant after.

The other mother commented that perhaps we should sign the kids up for a recurring lesson, so they get the same instructor and there's a routine.  I said that sounded great, let's set up a schedule to take turns driving, and please send me a link to sign up and pay.  She got really flustered and said oh no, she didn't mean I should pay, she was happy to do the driving and pay for the lesson and the activity, she was grateful her kid had such a nice friend.

To be clear, it's an expensive activity, but we can work it into the budget.   The cost is not prohibitive.   Kid really enjoys both the activity and the kid, and would be really happy if I proposed making it a regular thing.

How to proceed?  I am uncomfortable with them paying, but also don't want to lose the friendship for my kid.  [/quote]

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