Reply to How to end a phone call tactfully

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously you lie and say you have to go.  There are endless excuses like:

You have to run out to the store to get food for dinner

You have to put some laundry in

You have to take you kids to soccer practice

You have a work call you need to do

You have some errands you need to do

I mean who really talks on the phone for hours these days.  If you feel like you must call this person, do it while in the car then when you get to your destination "ok I'm at the store now" or whatever.[/quote]

This is not a good tactic.  You should not have to provide reasons for why you have to go.  When you give reasons, you give them fodder to argue.

You just have to get into the habit of saying "I'm sorry, but I have to go now."  If she asks why you need to leave, you say that you have things to take care of where you cannot be on the phone.  If she says to put the phone down and come back, you say that you cannot and you will have to talk to her "next time" (do not say when).  If she asks,  you say you'll be in touch when you have time to talk.  If she asks you to call back, say you'll call back when you have time, but do not give a commitment or time.

The point is to be firm that you need to get off the phone, and do not give a commitment to return at a given time.

She is lonely and is latching on to you because you were the one who was friendly and provided support when she lost her husband.  That is admirable, but you cannot allow her to completely monopolize your time.  You cannot entirely fill the void that losing her partner has caused.  You can check in regularly with her, but do so with your own boundaries in place and hold firm to them.[/quote]

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