Reply to How to deal with the anger? (exDH bailed not a great dad, sucky spouse)

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for your post and agree with PP.

PP you might want to do some reading on narcissism if selfishness is a pattern.

I've been doing some reading on personality disorders (Stop Walking on Eggshells is good) and am finally getting how none of this crazy behavior or circular thought patterns have anything to do with me. The more distance I get the more I feel like myself.

Disengagement helps me to feel much less anxious and frustrated. Personality disorders are very difficult to change, all I can do is be the best parent I can be so that my kids have a better shot. Just like in the Lorax, other adults or children just can't make up for the gaps in character or personality or a bad family of origen, when people are me, me, me, the best and really only choice is to stay away from them. There is a lot on the web about protecting kids from narcisstic parents. They use them for meeting their needs and it is toxic. Sucks to have it be any part of their lives but it's so much better than having it drag us all down 100% of the time.

I really appreciate everyone who has chimed in, it helps to not feel so alone.[/quote]

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