Reply to I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage

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Reply to "I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you are having very normal feelings and this is maybe more a marriage issue than a parenting issue. Your husband could choose to listen to you complain about field day, laugh at your stories, and say, "I know, right?" And you'd feel heard and maybe still sign up for the next field day. It's the judgment and lack of understanding that feels icky.

Especially with the tween, are there activities that you enjoy that they might too? I've never been a little kid person who liked kid play, kids stories, etc. But I'm loving ages 10 and 12 where we can watch movies we all like, get into musical theater together, go shopping, etc. I very begrudgingly started a girl scout troop for my daughter (I was asked to do it). I enjoy the meetings when we have them, especially now that they're older and there isn't one kid hiding under a table and one kid crying at all times. But I dread them too, and I'm always so happy when they're over. Leading a bunch of children is not my natural environment.

Having your spouse be like, "Why aren't you a nicer/more involved/more fun mom?" would really irk me too. Look, none of us is perfect, and I will be the first to admit it. But I expect my spouse to take my side and acknowledge when things are a drag. I expect my spouse to focus on the good things, and I try to do the same. If you focus on the negative, you just get more of the negatives . . . vicious cycle.

So yeah, I think you put this in the right forum. [/quote]

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