Reply to Tricky situation- new boyfriend's ex is sick

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ask him what he needs/wants. Be open and flexibile to change. He might THINK he needs XYZ now, but in a month he might actually find out that he needs ABC. That's OK.

Don't get jealous or insecure. [b]Be kind and generous at all costs.[/b] Send her food and flowers with your BF once in a while.

You know what? You'd do the above for your co-workers so do it for somebody important to your BF.

Have you heard of the ring theory? Your BF's ex is in the middle. Your BF might be a ring around that. You are a ring outside that. You always support inward, and dump outward. So your BF will be unconditionally supporting his ex. He might "dump" (emotions, chores, anger, etc) outward (toward you!). You are there to support your BF (he's a ring inside yours) and you will dump out to another friend or therapist (or DCUM) as needed. But your complaints do not go further into the ring.

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No.  Be kind, sure.  But not at all costs, and there is no reason ever to let yourself be used or mistreated.  Not saying this will happen, but you are nobody's emotional dumping ground, nor should you be.  Especially after only 5 months.[/quote]

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