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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother is emotionally immature in a way that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and tend to her moods. Since I was able to move away, I’ve maintained a distant but friendly relationship with my parents with visits once or twice a year. When I had kids the visits became more frequent, and for a while our relationship improved because it centered on the baby. Now my oldest is 5 and parenting her has brought up a lot of realizations about how poorly my parents treated me as a child, through my own memories and because they feel the need to offer their take and advice on how i should be teaching my child to respect me, not cry, etc. It’s eye opening to watch my mother throw a tantrum about something not going her way (literally storm off, cancel plans, etc if someone dares inconvenience or upset her) and then chastise my 5 year old for getting angry and crying for some normal kid reason. I find myself much less willing to cater to my mothers moods now and it’s led to a lot of drama because she complains constantly to anyone who will listen when she feels she’s been wronged and will hold a grudge until someone comes groveling back, which I’m not willing to do.

Posting here for commiseration and also advice if anyone has found good strategies for managing similar family dynamics.[/quote]

You limit her time with your kids. When she starts to throw a tantrum you immediately leave. [/quote]

Yeah I think this is the only solution unfortunately.

I highly recommend the book Understanding the Borderline Mother.[/quote]

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