Reply to How to deal with the anger? (exDH bailed not a great dad, sucky spouse)

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here,
I'd love any additional advice from the PPs. Now it appears that ex may have a personality disorder as well (based on feedback from a psych) or maybe that is the explaination for some of the other symptoms. The kids like to see him but do not want to be alone with him. He will get annoyed or sad and walk away from them even in public. He seems to want them to take care of him, themselves and any situations that come up. The 3rd grader says that it feels like there is pressure to be the adult and it's not fair. I'd like ex to keep "visiting" them with loose supervision until he seems more stable, but any suggestion of limits makes him want to insist on his rights. He doesn't seem to get that lying and acting unpredictable and moody means that they are right not to feel comfortable and he has to build up that sense of trust. To him, it is his right. He doesn't want them to feel scared he claims but doesn't seem to really get the connection to his behavior or to change his behavior to meet their needs. Glad this isn't 100% our lives anymore but the kids are really being harmed by this too. Any advice how to manage? According to my lawyer and another that I have consulted there need to be many more incidents or the kids need to be harmed when he walks away or leaves them alone. [/quote]

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