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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know...honestly, your MIL sounds like a handful, but I feel like you have the power in you to be the bigger person, let these irritations go, and ultimately allow your DH to do right by his mom without feeling like he has to decide between the two of you.  If you could just be the bigger person here, wouldn't it make your life and your DH's life (and MIL) better?

You can't change your MIL.  You can't change how your DH will respond to her.  And since neither DH nor your MIL is here asking us for advice, my only advice is that you can only change how *you* respond to your MIL.

- MIL comes to take care of DH.  She spoon-feeds him.  I agree, it is ridiculous to spoon feed someone in his thirties.  But can't you just roll your eyes inwardly and laugh about it when she's gone?  Why is it such a big deal?  
- MIL can't change a diaper or comfort a crying baby.  She's not good with children. She can't be counted on to help out with a child.  But she was here to help with DH right?  Not with the kids.  My own mother will NOT change a diaper.  It pissed me off to come back after 2 hrs to find my infant with a bulging, dirty diaper.  But now I know, I can't rely on her for that.  
- MIL won't drive.  Yes, she sounds high maintenance.  Why would you have to take off work to go to the grocery store though?  You would have to go in any case, if she were here or not right?  My own MIL doesn't drive...we have to drive her everywhere.  It would make my life a lot easier if she did, but I've accepted that's just the way things are.  But I like her, so I don't mind.  It sounds like you dislike her, so everything little thing becomes a huge thing that just adds to your distaste.  However, the one it's really hurting is your DH.

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