Reply to Skip Ivies & focus on other T20 to improve chances and avoid heartache/stress

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[quote=Anonymous]I have told my DD she can apply wherever she likes but that I would like her to consider schools outside the "top" schools that have very strong programs in her interest areas, or are located in places she's expressed an interest in working, just stop see. Not forcing her to apply but we will visit and see what she thinks. No looking for a "safety" or two so much as trying to make sure she's evaluating schools based on whether they will actually suit her interests/personality and not just based on how impressive it would sound to say "I'm going to X." I think when kids get too focused on prestige it clouds their thinking and can lead to poor choices when there were other really great options right in front of them.

We also make a point of expressing interest and congratulations to older kids on their college choices no matter where they are going. We don't look down our noses at schools and we also don't fall all over ourselves congratulating an Ivy-bound kid -- they get the same "That's wonderful! Are you getting excited? What attracted you to that school?" that anyone else gets.

Kids absorb some of the prestige-focus from peers but they also secretly want to make you really proud and they will listen and watch you closely. Make sure they aren't getting the impression that all you really want is for them to go to a top school -- make it clear that the thing you will be proudest of is them making a thoughtful choice that makes sense for them as a person and matches their goals.[/quote]

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