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College and University Discussion
Reply to "Only children and roommates"
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[quote=Anonymous] OP, others are right, don't worry about this. I say that as a parent of an only child who also had not just her own room but who didn't have to share space except with us. She was fine, though I'll add, she was lucky in that her first, random roommate was always out of the room (athlete--they tend to be out a LOT), and her roommate the next year was an acquaintance, friendly enough to get along well but not close friends so no drama. I would add, though, that for any college-bound kid, whether they're an only child or one of a bunch of siblings, it's important to discuss how they would handle certain situations with roommates and suitemates. Even a kid who has shared a bedroom with a sibling and/or had a bunch of siblings or cousins around forever is not really going to have experience in dealing with [u]and most importantly speaking up about[/u] certain college-roommate problems. Will you son advocate for himself with a peer with whom he'll still have to live after they have a problem? Will your son speak up or feel like he "shouldn't say anything" if, for example: "My roommate is a complete night owl and I'm losing sleep due to his clacking on the computer keyboard at 3 a.m." Or: "Roommate leaves his dirty laundry on the floor and it's literally in my way all week." Or: "Roommate says he can't work without music playing but I never have it on, and though he wears headphones I can hear all his music." Or: "I opened the mini fridge and found a ton of vodka; we're not allowed to have it, and I'm worried we'll get busted with it and it's not mine." All those are real-life examples from my friends' kids, I'm sorry to say. This is one from my own experience though not directly -- this was a friend's problem in college: "My roommate often brings home people and has sex in our room and I don't know what to do about it--I feel like it's not my room at all and what's more, I feel unsafe with strangers in our room overnight." Not saying all that to scare you, just to note that any real issues likely won't be about adjustment to having less space and privacy. They'll be about behaviors that are distracting at best and maybe hostile at worst. Be bold enough to talk to your son about these kinds of scenarios and remind him he has the right to speak up and say things have to change, especially if it's something that breaks clear rules (drugs, alcohol, in the room) or makes your son so uncomfortable he feels he can't use his own room. Talk to him, role-play situations, whatever. [/quote]
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