Reply to Would you include mother in law in holidays and life events if she was like this?

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[quote=Anonymous]I try really hard with my MIL and feel like I invite her to family things like the kids awards in school or games or birthday dinners but she always makes harsh and rude comments that ruins the vibe.

For instance we were out at my son’s birthday dinner and she flew off the handle going off on him for opening his mouth when he chewed (he’s 6) in a 5 minute rant yelling.

At my son’s kinder award ceremony he didn’t get a higher level award like leadership and swooned over other kids saying they got the best ones compared to my son and didn’t even say congrats or job well done on what was a big day for him.

When my husband and I brought her out for mother’s day to celebrate her, we had a little exchange of words (no bad words just obviously a small argument) and she flipped out saying good parents don’t argue in front of their kids and screamed at me.

These are just two recent things but there have been dozens over the years, always knocking how we raise our kids or their manners or what. We are human and obviously not perfect. What’s sort of infuriating about the whole thing for me is we are good parents that are very involved and put a lot of energy into raising our kids. By any objective measure she was a hot mess as a parent, severe severe addict in and out of jobs, divorced, went from rental to rental getting evicted and lights turned off, left kids for 6 month at a time to be with boyfriends, didn’t make it to any sports games or big days for her kids, showed up at parent conferences drunk. I find it ironic she’s flying off the handle about table manners. I’m torn because obviously my husband wants her there but she’s so unpleasant in these situations. Alone with the kids she’s great and much better moods (she’s also sober and has been for a while) but she seems to have some social anxiety that makes her shut down and get rude or aggressive in situations you’re expected to be a certain way if that makes sense. [/quote]

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