Reply to Lessons from our mothers -- what you'll take/what you'll leave

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Take: Be a humanitarian; stand up for what's right and be a voice for the less-privileged; experience different cultures; escape the US-centric lifestyle even if only briefly; take smart risks esp if they pay off big if they work; "catch more flies with honey than vinegar;" pretend you're in a foreign country the first 3 months of a new job.

Leave: Detached affect/parenting style; disinterest in obvious loving support; consistent willingness to put work and personal interests ahead of family, to great detriment of family; inability to be close with family members but no problem with strangers/online friends; uproot family several times for no clear, compelling reason; refuse to take accountability for serious screw-ups and problematic patterns that model poor decision-making; never saying sorry.[/quote]

You can't have the one without another - your takes and leaves are pretty much two sides of the same coin.  If you take risks, there will be screw ups, otherwise those are not real risks.  If you have a high tolerance for risks, there won't be apologies every time something goes wrong, that's just considered life.   If you dedicate your life to people outside your family, your family gets less time with you.  Etc, etc.  It's much easier to be a child of boring conventional parents.[/quote]

I’m not the poster you quoted but I disagree with this.  My work is the “take” of this post and we are extremely mindful that it not come wholly at the expense of my child. And even as a very risk tolerant person I do apologize if things don’t work out— what I don’t do is dwell on them or wallow in them. I think you’re probably right that it’s “easier” to be conventional but it’s by no means a given that the “takes” lead to the “leaves” if you’re being very conscious of them. [/quote]

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