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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I went through IVF last year and gave birth to a healthy baby boy at the ripe age of 42. My older son, 5, has adjusted fairly well, no major issue.

We have one last embryo in cryo storage and are trying to figure out what to do.

I am older now but my pregnancy and birth went well, no issues. We got genetic testing done on our embryos.

The newborn stage was hard but everything got easier once my baby started sleeping four or five hours each night.

Three kids sounds like a lot, especially at this age. My husband is as involved as he can be with a job that keeps him busy at least 50 hours a week.

I work as well but I definitely have the less stressful job.

My head tells me having another child in my early to mid-40s is insane and that we should just donate the embryo to science.

My heart wonders about our “frozen child” being another perfect baby that we will absolutely adore.

What should I do?

[/quote]

We went through pretty much the same thing.   I had my first at 37 easily.  Then we did IVF at age 41 - a cycle that produced a healthy pregnancy PLUS an embarrassingly large number of embryos in storage.   That storage stash has weighed on our minds so much that we have gone ahead and used one more to have a third child at age 44.   We still have three more in storage but they are going bye-bye.

From my perspective, I think you should only have a third if you always wanted to have three.  Don't have a third just to use the embryo.  Yes it can be a perfect child but it can also be a problem child.  Life with three is harder than with two.  You will be restarting the clock in my many ways.   Now, if you  WANT all this because you always wanted three, go ahead.  Just have your eyes open.  You are in an enviable position where you already have two healthy children.  So if you have a third, it will be OK; and if you stay with two, it will also be OK.  You are not making this decision out of throat-clutching desire to have your first baby or to give that baby a sibling.  Good luck my dear, hugs to you.[/quote]

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