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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I live in the city, so whenever people come in, I direct them where to wash their hands. And with kids I'd just tell them it's a house rule. "Everyone has to wash their hands before eating."

And if she didn't stop sticking her hands in food I'd put the food away. It's that simple. [/quote]

NP. This. Firm rules about hand-washing, made clear BEFORE she even gets a foot inside the front door on the next visit. Nicely but very firmly.  She washes hands when she walks in . She washes after using the bathroom, playing with her toys, etc. She washes when she walks into the kitchen. (This being snarky old "let kids be kids" and "OPs are always wrong and bad" DCUM -- someone will come to say, no, this is too many rules blah blah. No it's not too many rules. She needs structure and OP is right to find this gross.)

I might give her specific helping tasks to do if you're making food. Put her in charge of something and praise her when she gets it done. She can set the table (after washing her hands) or help wash or dry dishes later etc., or even help with appropriate, simple food prep after washing her hands in front of you. Give her some responsibility and have fun together in the kitchen.

If she acts out, refuses to wash hands by your rules, or is otherwise too immature to do age-appropriate kitchen tasks, there should be a consequence: The kitchen is off limits to her for the rest of that day or the rest of the entire visit if that works better for you (and gets her attention better). If you have a way to close the kitchen door or otherwise put it off limits when it is not mealtime or meal prep time, do so. No wandering into the kitchen except to take part in preparing a meal or cleaning up afterward. Good rule for everyone, actually.

I note that some PPs were fussing at you, OP, for "leaving food on the counter" but I see you were simply getting it out of the fridge and turning away only long enough to get a plate out to put the food onto it! And she was putting her hands in the food during that momentary and necessary pause. Wow. I agree, it's unsanitary and rude and her folks should be nipping that. The fact it's impulsive isn't an excuse.[/quote]

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