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[quote=Anonymous]I feel so much ambivalence towards my one family member. On one hand, she is like a sibling, and I care about her, and she is funny and sweet, but sometimes I feel myself being annoyed when her jokes get more mean spirited and passive aggressive and insulting. And then in the same turn, acts super needy and helpless, insecure, and competitive.  And there are times I realize we are just so different that it’s hard to talk to her and I feel like she thinks I’m weird for how I think and I think she is just hard to take for me.  Half her life she is in some crisis. Her mood swings from this larger than life extroverted loud and sarcastic jokester who is laughing all the time to this practically comatose person who has a tiny injured mouse voice.

I have in the past taken her under my wing, but it got to be too much for me. She became so reliant and so incapable of making any decisions on her own, and maybe I was not healthy enough to help in the right way. Now she has been taken under the wing of another family member and I feel bad because it has been a lot to take on in terms of trying to fix her life and getting back on track. But I think they are also healthier and more capable of helping than I. But I also see that she has become so enmeshed and so reliant.

It is this general vibe she is sending out- help me, Give me things, I have nothing, poor me, what about me, how come you didn’t include/invite me, her constant fomo, and her general obsessiveness with shopping, social media, taking perfect pics. The constant want and need for gifts, things, and deals. The complaint that she doesn’t have people in her life that gives her things.

I know she is struggles and I think for a long time I was very empathetic, but I feel like I don’t feel great when I’m around her for whatever reason.

Do I just need a different mindset? Boundaries? Is it guilt for not helping her?  Why do I feel the way I do?[/quote]

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