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[quote=Anonymous]I'm 54, my husband is 63.
MIL is 93 and lives in her own home 1 hour 30 minutes away. 
Three or four years ago she was diagnosed with mild vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. Her condition has progressed since the diagnosis but it's being managed with medication, a healthy and balanced diet and by exposing her to visual stimuli and having her loved ones near her.

SILs (my husband's sisters) live 30-40 minutes away from MIL.

My SILs insist that MIL stays in her own home for as long as possible. They and my husband hired a small army of aides and companions so that MIL doesn't have to move to a care home.
They have set up a shared electronic calendar which shows who goes to see MIL when, at what time and what they do for her.

SILs think that I should be one of the caregivers, not to help MIL with grooming or personal care but to provide companionship and to generally entertain her.

This grates on me because SILs showed no interest or compassion to my parents when they were ill and died. My mom died of cancer 7 months after the diagnosis at the age of only 52. 
My dad had advanced diabetes (it went undetected for years), he subsequently developed osteomyelitis, he then started having TIAs and he eventually died of sepsis (blood poisoning). He was 64.

My parents lived 6 hours away. I did not expect SILs to go see my parents in person when they were ill, but they could have sent them a friendly card or a note, they could have asked me about my parents, or comforted me after they died. They didn't. I have no siblings so no one to share my grief with apart from my husband. 
My SILs are quite self-absorbed people (my husband's own words, not mine) and I guess they were too wrapped up in their own bubble to care at the time.

What do you all think of this?

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