Reply to Is it reasonable to want to connect with your partner in all levels?

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Reply to "Is it reasonable to want to connect with your partner in all levels?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this is more of a fantasy than a reality. People are people, they grow and change. So if tomorrow I become pro candidate X and you're candidate Y, that's a relationship fail. Even if we disagree on the why's (maybe you think one is a slimeball and I think the other is all talk and no action), but those two are not us. Same goes for a book or a movie or music.

But that's only one part of it. The bigger part is that if you're this super Pro Harry Potter book club and I'm not, but I'm really in love with you, then you are either expecting me to lie about my love for Harry Potter to be able to spend more time with you, or be a killjoy and every time you bring him up I have to say stuff like "what is the point of Quiddich" and "dude just got ultra lucky".

And the part about being human, say we're dating at 30, date 3 years and get married. Now we're 35. with a kid, Now we're 40 with 2 kids. We both have jobs that stress us out. Parenting is stressful. Having sick parents is stressful. Having complicated friendships is stressful. Etc. We each find ways to deal with this stress. Maybe one person is into running and the other is into yoga. Or One is into video games and the other reading books. Is this couple going to fail or not be in your ideal scenario because they "grew apart"?

Like I said, I think this is a fantasy that is based on cinema and not reality. There are majors where I want to see a similar point of view, but I also want my areas where I can be me and have my friends and be able to go at my own fast or slow pace and not need to check in with my partner about how much they like it, and if their not liking it should make me stop.

These are the minors which will add to the conversations. Sure we may not both be fanatics about Harry Potter, but when you finish one it may remind me of another orphand child story from a different univese (maybe MCU and Peter Parker) and we can have a discussion about the similarities and differences. But I wouldn't even expect that. Its nice and its cool to have areas to converse but having a formula for what those conversations should be and how they should go takes the fun away from the idea of dating another person. [/quote]

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