Reply to Is it reasonable to want to connect with your partner in all levels?

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Reply to "Is it reasonable to want to connect with your partner in all levels?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Are one or both of you lawyers? (I am.) Often lawyers, but not only lawyers, argue more to be right than to get to the right answer. I think the solution starts with how you listen, rather than how you argue. If you are listening to understand, rather than listening to respond, you will probably solve a lot of the problems. And often listening to understand means not responding right away. This goes for both of you in the relationship. It is a surprisingly easy fix, but it involves deciding that you'd rather see the value in your partner's view, rather than convincing your partner that you are right.

That doesn't directly answer your question, but obviously, I think it is not just reasonable, but good, to try to connect on this level, and doing so means abandoning the desire to be correct. But that is going to annoy you if your partner doesn't try, too.

And then, obviously, there are some views that are so obnoxious and offensive that it doesn't even seem worth it, but it doesn't sound like you are there.[/quote]

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