Reply to Is it reasonable to want to connect with your partner in all levels?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it’s fine to have some topics you avoid due to conflict. I think that’s another way of showing respect. I mean, ideally I suppose it would be nice to be able to discuss anything and everything, but if you know you disagree, there’s not really a need. Continuing to discuss when you know it’ll be contentious, unless there’s some change, sort of sounds like one of you is either picking a fight or trying to change the other’s mind.

I think it’s emotionally risky to try to have all your needs met by one person. I can’t tell if that’s what you’re trying to do, but your list of ideals is extensive and abstract. Some of the concepts can be interpreted differently based on different peoples needs and desires. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to want all those things, but if your partner can’t be that or doesn’t want to be that, I guess you have to reevaluate your list or your choice of partners. I know if I disagree with someone on a core belief, I don’t want to repeatedly have a conversation with them knowing there won’t be a change of heart. What’s the point?

I also really wonder why those conversations always end in arguments. What sparks the argument? What are you getting out of those conversations and what do you wish you could get from them? [/quote]

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