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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks all. Yeah, she is going to do couples counseling, individual therapy...the problem is everywhere is booked! Super hard to get in with all the demand. She told me tonight she got a book "Healing from Infidelity: The Divorce Busting Guide to Rebuilding your Marriage after an Affair". They are both going to do the tasks from the book. It's so shocking and disgusting on so many levels. We're both products of divorce and don't want her (or my) kids to go through that, the covid aspect, the TWO YEARS of lying (we've gone on vacation with them MANY times!), and of course the actual act of sleeping with someone else for that long. A lot to process for both of us. Her kids are still so little, and the thought of raising them solo seems very daunting for her and she's still very much in love with her DH. It will be a long, shitty road.[/quote]

It can be done. There are all kinds of betrayals and shitty things that can happen in a marriage, not just infidelity. And people have survived it. The people who divorce because of these things aren't necessarily happier afterward, it depends on their luck - do they find someone more congenial, do they learn from past mistakes, etc?

So, give her time to process it. Do not press her into anything. [/quote]

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