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[quote=Anonymous]I am so sorry Op, sending you hugs, you are doing great by being open to your daughter and telling her your mental health issues are the reason why you said those words and that you are sorry and working on it. I think being transparent and consistent is key.

Now I don’t want to minimize but I came here to say that whatever happens you may have had to face tough moments with your daughter.

Let me explain : I am an extremely level headed person, to the point that I am the rock of a lot of my friends dealing with depression and anxiety. That’s kind of my thing. Not sure why, but I bring them peace and support and my own mood has always been very stable, since as far as My childhood memories go.

My daughter though is like my husband. Wonderfully sensitive person. She feels a lot. And strongly. And I often think, watching some of her reactions “oh wow, so and so who is worried about their own kids reaction to their depression would feel really guilty if their daughter reacted like this”. My friends in a similar situation would think it is their fault,it is their depression or recent emotional crisis that would have been the cause of that particular meltdown.

Whereas I am lucky to know that I am not. I am not delusional, I am not saying I have absolutely nothing to do with my daughter’s emotional state. But I know that I did nothing wrong and that I am not the essential trigger of this particular emotional state. So I can be there for my daughter, help her, accompany her, without letting the guilt cloud my judgment and reactions.

That’s what I wish for you OP. Don’t let the guilt overwhelm you and interfere in your relation with your daughter. Own what you should own (say sorry for saying mean words). But don’t link (or accept) all behaviors to the moments where you messed up. Your daughter is also responsible for some of her feelings. I don’t mean it to say you should be harder on her, just that you should be there for her, outside of your own actions of feelings. Hope that will make some sense..[/quote]

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