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[quote=Anonymous]You sister sounds as if she has some form of autism as well as severe inattentive ADHD, just like my son. Does she have official diagnoses, and would she be open to an evaluation by a psychologist or psychiatrist? Medications work very well for ADHD - has she tried them? My son benefited from early intervention therapies, extensive coaching for his executive functioning, tutoring and the knowledge of what he suffers from and how his brain is different. He's as prepared as he can be for independent living.

I agree that this situation sounds concerning for the baby. I hope the father can be very hands-on and present. I worry about bouts of anger, panic, distractions and possible PPD. If you two keep in touch and she tells you things, just know that sometimes PPD can be averted by progesterone hormones. SSRIs, if ever she tries them, can have some adverse side effects. Be on the lookout for these things as she navigates motherhood, since she doesn't have a lot of margin of error. She might need ADHD meds to look after her child well.

One of my aunts had low IQ and a disability due to an accident at birth. She had difficulty parenting her child as a single parent, and my mother and other aunts did have to step in multiple times. It's very difficult to be a neurotypical child with such a parent, and their relationship was never easy and often volatile.

I hope you can be a nurturing presence in this child's life. Be on the lookout for sign of mental disorders, since they are inheritable (my son inherited his ADHD from both his parents, and his Asperger's from his father). Try to develop a good relationship with the father, so that you can work as a team to smooth out problems with your sister.
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