Reply to 8 yr old says she hates herself when frustrated

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[quote=Anonymous]Folks,

Remember.  At ages 7, 8, 9 etc., kids today have rarely experienced frustration or loss or any feeling of inadequacy.  Everyone gets a prize.  Everyone gets a valentine.  No one has said much negative to them or about them.  Everybody is a winner in childhood today.  Have any of you ever said to your children, "your team lost that soccer game because the other team was better than you guys."  Most parents will deflect any feelings of sadness or anger by asking if the child had fun playing or they will tell the child they did a great job (even if they did not).  Kids would be better served by hearing that they lost because they played poorly and if they want to improve they need to work harder in practice.  In the 7, 8, 9 years, kids have to start using skills like reading, swimming, bike riding, etc. in order to keep up at school and play with their friends.  If they can't perform these and other skills, at this point, there isn't really a way to sugar coat it to them so they feel frustrated.  And they often don't know how to handle frustration.  So you hear language like you describe. [/quote]

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